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This Journal Is Mostly Friends-Only

I didn't want to do the friends-only thing but circumstances render it necessary for a while.

If you would like to be added, leave me a comment here and tell me who you are and why you'd like me to add you.



Summer Custody is over, Archer is home, they ate Robin's minstrels and there was much rejoicing.



The Sad Time

Every year when school ends, Archer's custody schedule changes. Instead of 10 days with us and 4 days with his Dad every two weeks, it switches to 12 days with Dad, 2 days with us.

2 days out of every 2 weeks.

I have a friend who lost her son to cancer. He and Archer were born two days apart and were very close. I know she would give body parts to see Jared for two days out of two hundred days, let alone two out of every fourteen.

I am an ungrateful brat because I saw him yesterday and today my heart feels like it is breaking and I am about to cry here at work.

Archer is such a big part of the rhythm of our days - his smile, his voice, his goofy jokes, his relentless though sometimes misguided helpfulness, his pride, his frustration, his loving kindness.

I want my boy back.


Note to Self

"Start telling the stories that only you can tell, because there’ll always be better writers than you and there’ll always be smarter writers than you. There will always be people who are much better at doing this or doing that — but you are the only you."  ― Neil Gaiman

Reading Material Sought - Help Needed

Writer and reader friends - what are your favorite blogs/sites to read about books, stories and writing? I'm looking for new reading material. If you write one of said blogs, please let me know!


I just saw Kenneth Branagh as Macbeth.
Yes, he is as good as the hype.
The 'tomorrow and tomorrow' speech has new meaning for me now. I never connected with it as a eulogy before, as a broken husband mourning his newly departed wife.
The scene between Lady Macduff and Macduff Jr. is still one of my favorite scenes in the play. Jr. is so wise yet still believable. Sort of like Archer, who is asleep on this train.


Posting Once A Week

Having been called to task by xtingu for posting less than once a week as promised ... I mean I promised to post once a week and have not posted this week, I can cheerfully report that I have nothing to say.

Now I am going to eat some raspberries and listen to my audio book while I re-route reports.


Note that I wish I were more interesting, but since I'm not and I don't have the emotional energy to fake it, all I can add is that I anticipate enjoying the raspberries greatly and it is my fervent hope that none of them are moldy.
Today, roomette reminded me of a poem that Hunter and I have been enjoying lately that I wanted to share. roomette, caudelac and morningbandit, I think you will all love it.

The Reason I Like Chocolate by Nikki Giovanni

The reason I like chocolate

is I can lick my fingers

and nobody tells me I’m not polite

I especially like scary movies

‘cause I can snuggle with Mommy

or my big sister and they don’t laugh

I like to cry sometimes ‘cause

everybody says “what’s the matter

don’t cry”

and I like books

for all those reasons

but mostly ‘cause they just make me


and I really like

to be happy.


Even way back when this ankle stuff started, the word "orthopaedist" has always sounded like "orthopenis" to me. It still makes me giggle.

Appointment with new ortho is on May 6th. Another thing that makes me giggle, his name is Dr. Wapner. My appointment with him is definitely not at 4 pm, however. Yeah.


The Story About The Ankle

This is going to be hard to write because I feel like an idiot. I will start with the moral: never depend exclusively on your doctor's advice. Always, ALWAYS do your own research.

In April 2013 a twenty-something year old fitness enthusiast wrote a training plan for a forty-something year old runner who had just started running at the age of thirty-something. The forty-something runner (that would be me) overdid it and had persistent ankle pain, went to the ortho and was diagnosed with peroneal tendonitis. The first ortho recommended rest and physical therapy. The physical therapy worked, but a few months later my ankle started hurting again (it never really stopped, it just got better, then got worse) and I went to more physical therapy which was ok, but not great and then I went to a second orthopedist from the same practice.

Ortho #2 gave me an rx for more PT, and when that didn't work, he gave me a cortisone shot. Cortisone is a steroid, this detail will be important later. When THAT didn't work, he put me in an aircast for four weeks and when that didn't work, he told me to see another doctor because he was out of ideas.

Neither Ortho #1 or Ortho #2 said, "Stop running until your ankle stops hurting." To be fair, I really love running and I wanted desperately to run, but if they had said, "Stop running until it stops hurting and then you will be healed and can train back up to your race pace," I would have done that. They said, "You can run if you want to, though I wouldn't run too much." As it is, I have been running on this injury for almost a year. I ran the 5 miler with this unhealed injury. Ortho #1 specifically said I could run the 5 Miler.

The vast majority of peroneal tendinosis will heal without surgery. This is because it is an overuse injury and can heal with rest. If there is significant pain, a CAM Walker boot for several weeks is a good idea. If there really is no tenderness with walking, an ankle brace might be the next best step. Patients should very much limit how much they are walking or on their feet until the pain abates. This usually takes several weeks. Resumption of training can then occur, but must occur very slowly and be based on pain. - American Orthopaedic Foot and Ankle Society Website

SEVERAL WEEKS! I could have been healed in WEEKS? I have been in pain for almost a YEAR!

Also, Ortho #2 gave me a cortisone shot. Referring back to that article I linked above, Steroids are probably best avoided as they can actually damage tendon. The cortisone shot made my ankle hurt more - I thought I was having an abnormal reaction to cortisone because I have heard so many people say it has helped them with muscle pain. Well, maybe it helped them. Maybe it damaged me.

I just called a new Ortho practice (based on recommendations from friends and co-workers) and requested an appointment. This time, I am going to go in armed with this article, I am going to do whatever the doctor tells me and I am going to stay off the foot as much as possible. I am also going to meet with a trainer at the Y and get a regimen of exercises that will keep my fitness level up without putting weight on my foot/ankle.

I will heal. I will not feel this pain for the rest of my life and I will run again. I am furious at Ortho #1 and Ortho #2 and myself that it has taken this long.



Jill Knapp's Other Boyfriend

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